


Oh No You Don't!

by SherlockDreadsNaught



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Cluedo, Fluff, M/M, bored, mild johnlock, silliness, why won't won't you play games with me?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2014-08-01
Packaged: 2018-02-11 06:29:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2057439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockDreadsNaught/pseuds/SherlockDreadsNaught
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How do you un-bore a bored consulting detective?  Especially one who cheats at games?!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh No You Don't!

**Author's Note:**

> To paraphrase Sherlock, this just sort of happened. Enjoy, because I had a blast writing it!

Yes, that was a definite harumph he just heard from across the room.  John kept his eyes on his laptop's screen, reading the comments left on his latest blog entry. The leather on the beat up old sofa made mild flatulent-like sounds as his flatmate flung himself from his side to his back, and threw an arm over his face in true mellow dramatic style.  Nooope, I am not going to ask him what the problem is, thought John , because I am PRETTY sure I know the answer--he's bored.  A loud sigh was timed so perfectly with John's last thought that he allowed himself to wonder briefly if the reposing detective could actually read his thoughts.

"Gawd." Not a question, not an exclamation, just a simple declaration coming from somewhere under the bony elbow that was jutting up from the face.

John ignored him, or rather, John simply did not take the bait and ask him what was wrong.  Instead he made a big show of leafing through the sheets of paper to the right of his computer.  He was behind in blog entries about their cases, and this lull was the perfect time to catch up.  Just that morning alone, he had managed to peck out blogs on two cases; the comments to those blogs being what had temporarily caught his attention.  With any luck he could get one more blog done that day, and he decided he'd do up The Case of the Trampled Flower Boxes, since that case had actually taken them three days to solve.  He found the sheath of notes he needed to refer to, called up a new blog page and started typing in the title when...

"Oh gawd."  A bit muffled this time, as by now the exquisitely long-fingered hands were over the face, obscuring the sound.

The...Case...of...The...no, the...Trampeled...nope...Trampled...Flower Boxes.  A very descriptive title, considering, well, that was pretty much all they had had to go on when they had gotten to the first two crime scenes. What's this note in the corner? Oh yes, this was the case where Lestrade had about gone into an apoplectic fit because Sherlock had wanted to...

"JOHN."  A very large, bony hand was suddenly plastered across his page of notes.

"Sherlock."

"Can't we?"

"No."

"But..."

"I know what you are going to say."

"Ah, you've added mind reading to your list of sundry skills?"

"You are going to say you are bored."

"Well, I am!  Can't we just..."

"No."

"Well, I certainly don't know why..."

"Because you cheat."

"I do not."  The lean detective flopped into his leather and metal chair, a definite pout on his cupid's bow lips. He ruffled his mop of curly hair and sighed.  "I prefer to look at it as improving the rules."

"No, you cheat!" John twisted around in his chair so he could face Sherlock. "In Cluedo, it is just not possible for the victim to have done it!"  That statement was met with a sniff and more pouting.  "And you have somehow short-circuited the Operation game, or maybe re-wired it, so that it always buzzes for the one set of tweezers and not at all for the other!"

"Mycroft did that, to get back at me!"  Sherlock straightened up momentarily, then slouched again and stretched his long legs out even further.  Several minutes passed in silence, John having returned to his typing when Sherlock seemed more interested in his cuticles than in pursuing a conversation.  "Monopoly!" he suddenly exclaimed, causing John to startle.

"No."

"Why?"

"You may not be cheating in that game, but you do turn everyone else into homeless paupers!"

"What if I play four or five peices, and you just concentrate on..."

"Sherlock, no!"

"Life?"

"Nope."

"But John, why? I thought you liked that game!"

"I do, against anyone else but you. You start spouting tax law and everything else!"

"Pictionary?"

"Oh no you don't! You will never get me to play that one again, ever!"

"There is nothing in the rules for that that says you have to draw actual objects." By now Sherlock's head hanging over the back of his slouchy old chair, and he seemed to not have a single bone in his entire body.

"Sherlock, I mean it!"

"Trvial Pursuit?"

"You know all of the answers."

"Sorry?"

"No."

"Battleship?"

"You broke it last time because you thought I could see through it."

"Scrabble!"

"I need a dictionary just to keep up with you."

"John Watson, you are no fun when I am bored!"  It was then that Sherlock noticed that John was painstakingly pecking away on his laptop.  "Your blog? May I read it?"

"Get your own computer; I'm busy typing."

"Mine is in my room."

"So go get it!"  That elicited more sighs and dramatic brow-wiping, not to mention some hair ruffling.

"I know! Risk!"

"We don't own that one."

"Mrs. Hudson might. MRS HUDSON!!!!!!!!!!!"  Sherlock simply threw his head back and yelled loudly.

"Jesus, Sherlock, instead of bellowing, you could trot your cute little tush down the stairs and ask her like a civilized human being!"

"Being civilized is....you really think I have a cute tush??"  Sherlock's bored expression suddenly took on a look of semi-interest and he sat up again.

"Good heavens, boys, the neighbors!" Mrs Hudson came scurrying in, a plate of molasses cookies in her hand. "Are you all right, Sherlock?"

"Depends on what you mean by right," John muttered, as he wiped out one paragraph and started to re-type it. "And thank you for the sweets, Mrs. Hudson. I thought I had smelled you baking."

"I'm bored."

"You're welcome, John dear. Bored?" She looked inquisitively at the mop-headed man sprawled in the old chair.

"No crimes to solve, the criminal minds of London must be pausing to try to come up with some way to fool me, which of course they can't."  He gave her a world-weary look.

Mrs. Hudson touched her fingers to her lips to try to conceal a smile. "Nothing I can do about that, dear."

"Oh, yes!" Sherlock looked at her as though he had just realized she was standing in the same room.  "Have you got the game Risk that we might borrow?"

"Sorry, I'm afraid not. Why don't you boys play Cluedo?" She waved towards the board game that was stuck to the wall with a Swiss army knife.

"John won't play that with me; he says I cheat."

"You do."

"Well, it could have been the victim!"

"Boys, no need to have a domestic over a game. Now I must be off to bingo!"  She set the plate down and hurried off, humming to herself.

John went back to hunting and pecking, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Sherlock had claimed two cookies off the plate and was munching on them. Right then, if he could work for an hour uninterrupted, he could finish this big case and he would have only two cases left to type up the next day. Maybe if he finished early enough he would bite the bullet and try to drag Sherlock to the cinema, even if it did mean having to listen to him criticize the script, the dialogue, and even the special effects.  There were a couple of blockbusters out, and he'd seen Sherlock pause one day and watch a preview for one when they'd have the trash telly on. Yes, going out for a movie and catch something to eat after, in other words, essentially tricking Sherlock into acting like a semi-normal human being.

"Do you really think I do?"

Sherlock's sudden question cut through the silence of the room, causing John to jump and seriously misspell the word 'the.'  John drew a quiet deep breath and turned once again to face Sherlock. Noting that Sherlock had consumed over half the plateful of cookies, John grabbed one and bit into it. "Do I think that you do what? Cheat at games? Yes!"

"No, that other thing you said, about the cute tush. Remember you said I should trot my cute little..."

"I remember, Sherlock." John took another hefty bite of cookie and made a big show out of chewing it thoroughly and swallowing as he contemplated his answer.  "And yes, yes I do think you have a cute tush."

Sherlock popped the last bite of his cookie into his mouth. "John...I'm suddenly not bored..."

 

 

 


End file.
